Upon capturing a billion years of crazy experience in my notebooks, I am writing this sweet love note to you. I have not written it before because I have been wondering if you would even read it. It’d be useless to me if you wouldn’t ever read this note. I am writing this only and only for you after all. But at last I gathered enough insanity to express my heart out, and in case you too feel the same in your heart, you’ll surely like reading my thoughts. So let me begin by telling you how I have been feeling lately. Lately, I have been feeling that I am living in a video game, as if I am a character in some video game. I am constantly chasing some goal or milestone. But sometimes I also allow myself to relax, destress and just enjoy my life. For instance, by having a cup of hot coffee, by eating a chocolate, by taking a long walk in the park, by dancing and listening to music, by doing some fun activity that I used to do when I was not this old and grown up, activities like coloring, art journal, doodling and writing poetry.
During the evenings, while I am relishing the roaring orange-crimson sunset, I often feel like I am in love. As if I want to tell somebody I love the most that I like it when I catch them looking at me. And whoever, whatever I am, in this moment, I am completely theirs to own. I am saying this because I think that someone is not a true lover unless they are a lover forever and all the time. And therefore, I aspire to be in love all the time throughout my life, just like these pretty sunsets and like the poetry of Rumi and like the paintings of Van Gogh and like the tunes of Beethoven and like the lyrics of Gulzar. I feel it all nowadays, to tell you the truth. But most of the time I have been too scared to write to you all this. Once upon a time, I even wrote a letter to you but I ended up putting it in a glass bottle and letting a river float it away wherever it would. That kind of a person I have been, most of the time in my life. It is only now that I am learning to be fearless enough to tell you about my feelings.
Feelings and emotions are beautiful. The giftbox of feelings and emotions makes our life colourful. But so far so long, I have also learned that although we should embrace our feelings but we shouldn’t let these feelings drive our actions and habits. While we remain encapsulated with everyday mortal coils and the webs of humanly conflicts, we should carry the mountain of reason and understanding with us whereever we go, no matter how uncomfortable or restricting it may feel to us. Because my feelings mostly tell me that I don’t want to get up from my sleep in the cosy blanket, and I don’t want to eat healthy foods and I don’t want to go to the park, and all. So, that’s the reason I think reason is important too.
At the same time, you know, reason is not at all about practicality. I see that people talk about practicality all the time, but I have learned that practicality is often a disguise for extreme boredom. As we pop out of the toaster of life and become an adult, we stop believing in things like excitement, fun, and wonderful dreams that appear unrealistic. The idea of practicality is practically taught to us so we become too less practical actually. But I have also learned that we should embrace our boredom when it strikes, and also the feelings of blankness we feel when we feel like grieving about something. If you think about it, you will agree with me that life is full of grief. Grief over what someone said to us, all the words that hurt us, and all the disappointments and failures and heartbreaks we could never get over with.
Another thing I wanted to tell you in this note is that I feel that life is utterly, magnanimously, flamboyantly beautiful. Just look at all these birds flying from their nests towards the sky, the green-green leaves rustling and swinging merrily with the breeze, the trees standing tall and proud, the soil and mud smudged on playing kids’ dresses, the glitter dripping from the nightsky, the luminous gold outpouring from the sunshine, the blend of aromas scurrying from the hot kitchens, the smell of the fresh polish, the laughters on the faces of the loved ones, and all things like that.
To tell you the truth, I totally get it what Helen Keller said in this quote of hers, “Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it.” That’s true, dear friend.
Apart from these ponderings about feelings and emotions, I have been lately feeling an extreme love for words. Words, words, so many words! Call me a logophile, if you think. Words, to me, are like crystals and diamonds and sequins and gems and trinkets that I use to embellish and decorate my writing. Like favourite foods, words seem to endow me with utter pleasure.
By saying
this, what I really wanted to tell you is that if you are crazy about something
in your life, then by all means chase this craziness. Just like I am crazy
about feelings and words and foods, you too must be crazy about something. So,
I want to tell you that just keep being crazy. Do not ever let your craziness
go away just because someone tells you that it’s bad or improper to be crazy. Do
not put salt on your own wounds, my friend. Keep being crazy, and keep being in
love. I will now end my note with this message, and promise you that I will
write more love notes like this, for you. Do tell me if you liked it. And
should you want to tell me about something you feel, do not hesitate to write a
sweet love note for me. Writing that will make you feel good too, trust me!
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