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Worthy Crayon, Unworthy Crayon | Podcast #15 by Neha's Notebook

Once upon a time there was a priest. He received a fatty goat from one of the merchants in the town. He was quite happy having received a healthy goat. So he was returning home, carrying this goat on his shoulders. On the way three thieves spotted him, and decided to steal the goat from him. As the priest was walking by, one of the thieves appeared in front of him and asked why he was carrying an old dog. The priest was puzzled but he said that it was a goat not an old dog. In another few minutes, the second thief appeared on his way and said why was he carrying a mad dog. The priest, again puzzled, managed to say that it was a goat not a mad dog. He was walking, wondering whether the other two men were saying the truth. Doubt had already seeped into his mind. By then the third thief appeared in front of him and said why was he carrying a beaten dog. The priest became more puzzled than ever and began to believe that one men could be wrong, two could be but not all three of them. He began to believe that he was carrying an old mad beaten dog, and so he threw it away on the way, and kept going towards his house. The three thieves giggled and stole the abandoned goat.

This is a Panchatantra story and it teaches us many insights. As we grow up, over time the world seems to gaslight us into believing that we have no worth. And over time we began to believe that this is true, and abandon ourselves. Yet the truth remains the truth. The priest might have lost the goat but we can’t possibly lose ourselves. The moment we see the truth, at that very instant we are back in the game.

What we usually mistake worth for is the ‘suitability’ and ‘functionality’ in the world. When the jewellers say that gold is more worthy than silver, it is because gold makes up for more suitability in their job’s interest. On the other side, someone else might be more interested in silver jewellery than gold. Its about suitability of interest and not the worth.

Similarly, when we go to the grocery market and select one tomato and reject the other it’s because one tomato is suitable for putting into the vegetables while the other is not. Again, its about suitability and not worthiness.

A literate person may have more suitability for a job than an illiterate person. A skilled artist may have more suitability for a painting than a beginner artist. A glamorous person might have more suitability for going to a party than a plain one. But its all about suitability and functionality, not about worthiness.

During schooltime, we used to compare ourselves with others based on the pencils, notebooks and tiffin boxes we used to bring to the school. Some student would bring a big branded box of crayons while some other would bring a local regular pack of crayons. We started with crayons but never stopped after that. The spiral of worthiness kept on magnifying in proportion. Beginning with crayons, we started deriving our worth from our looks, our bank accounts, our relationship status and our place in the society.

Trust that this life is a game, and we, its players. We may not fit well in certain suitability or functionality criteria, but none of these criteria is related to our innate worth. Though we should try to change what we feel we need to change about ourselves, but we must also understand that any change won’t increase or decrease our worthiness, because ultimately, its not the worthiness of an individual we are talking about, it’s the quintessential worthiness of life.

Life is not worthy or unworthy. It doesn’t become more worthy in one case and less worthy in the other.

There is a suitable crayon and an unsuitable crayon. There is an expensive crayon and an inexpensive crayon. But there is no worthy crayon and unworthy crayon. There is no worthy life and unworthy life.

Believe, and you shall be sanguine and free!

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